Go Ask Your Mother: Election Day Dad

Go Ask Your Mother is my new weekly segment about the joys and challenges of parenthood through the eyes of dad. I am so excited to be blogging again and giving my perspective on many topics that are important to dads.

Many of our readers may know that I have spent the last couple of years becoming increasingly involved in the local political scene. I have always enjoyed politics, at every level. Often, I have found myself working actively on someone's campaign when an election year rolls around and it has blessed me with many good connections in Arkansas. Several of those I have volunteered for in the past began encouraging me awhile back to jump in and try my hand at the political game.

A little background here: I have lived all but 18 months of my life here in Searcy and have recently become concerned about the type of leadership at City Hall. So, once we bought our house here and I knew which Ward (municipal equivalent to a congressional district) we would be living in I decided to run for Alderman (municipal version of a congressman).

Being the candidate is a very different feeling from being a campaign volunteer. There is a vulnerability that comes with asking people to vote for you. This is especially true on election day when you find yourself at te mercy of people walking into the voting booth to make their choice. I happened to be running against perhaps the toughest opponent in the county. Dale English is a well-known, 24 year veteran of the City Council. He has literally been and Alderman since I was born! I knew I drew a tough bull, but I was ready to give it a shot.

Technically the "campaign season" is a few months long, but actually running for office begins almost 18 months before the day of the vote. There are party meetings, get-togethers with the influential local politicians, fish frys, etc. By the time the "season" rolls around, there isn't much energy left for door-knocking or passing out cards. But that is actually my favorite part! I loved meeting people and talking about local issues and concerns.

It would be easy for me to go on here feeling sorry for all the work it is to run for office. But I chose to do it. The fact of the matter is, it is more work for those who didn't chose to run--my family.

Don't misunderstand, I had the full support of Nicki, and by extension, the kids, but there is still the toll of daddy being preoccupied. It became increasingly difficult for me to spend all that time campaigning, with Nicki staying home to juggle obligations and children. you have to remember, I came from a home with what I thought was the most obvious example of selflessness--my father.

But Nicki never seemed to doubt my decision or intentions, though I sometimes second-guessed myself. She pushed me on, even campaigned with me from time to time. She encouraged me to make a better life for our family and for other families by bettering a community that wasn't her native home. I will never forget her help and dedication.

As I said, I second-guessed myself a lot. I wondered if it was selfish of me to dedicate myself to something like this. When the day finally arrived, Nicki continued her steadfast support by standing in the cold rain at our local polling site to hold my sign, pass out my cards, and make one final push for votes.

I came up short, unfortunately, but I was encouraged by the support of my community. I had several ask if I would be running again and many encouraged me to do so. I have reservations about that idea because I hate the toll it takes on my time and family. But just the other night I realized something. I was tucking Anna-Kate in for the night and she gave me a HUGE hug and told me she loved me. I realized that two things; first, losing didn't matter. My kids still think I am a great dad, and my wife is proud of me. Second, even though campaigning can separate me from the family sometimes, it is not really selfish at all. My dad was adamant about giving his kids the best life he could and he worked hard at it. So if I am working to make the city we call home better for my family, what can be wrong with that? At the end of the day, when I look in their eyes, I have to be able to say with honesty and confidence that I have done evereything possible to make this a good place to live. Fighting for a better local government is my way of doing that.

As fathers, we appreciate the support of our family in every endeavor. I know I have appreciated the support of mine, even when I was unsure myself. They believed in me and pushed me forward with encouragement and love. I think I may run again. (why not, I have a ton of yard signs left over) When I run, I have a confidence that is rare among many political hopefuls, the full support and confidence of a beautiful wife, and loving, affectionate children.

Weekend Worth Forgetting

It has been awhile since I made a post. I wanted to do something about our latest adventure but it has taken till now for me to regain enough energy to relate the story.

So last Friday night we received a call that Jessie, Nicki's little sister, might be in labor. We had planned on being ready to go and at least Nicki and the kids would stay for up to a week after the birth. Severe weather was pushing through our neck of the woods at the time so we decided to wait till the next morning to head out since Jess wasn't in full labor yet.

We took off intending to get to Franklin, TN and then I would head back to Lepanto for the weekend. After we got to Memphis we began hearing that there was some serious flooding in certain parts of Tennessee. We noticed some slow traffic in places but it got progressively worse as we past through Jackson, TN. After 9 hours on the road we gave up on the day and got a room in Jackson.

As if it wasn't frustrating enough, we had two tornadoes come through our area that night. We even had to get up in the night and go downstairs because on storm came so close. The next morning, we decided to try again. I asked around if anyone had heard what the roads were like and everything we were being told was that you could get to Nashville. So off we went.

The further I drove the more I realized that the rest of the state had experienced round two in a worse way than round one. The flooding was terrible along the interstate. We had slow traffic again and more rain too.

The scariest part of the trip was when we got about halfway from Jackson to Nashville. I noticed that the road, though not flooded, was not draining very well because of the heavy rain. I was already driving slower than I normally would but I slowed down a bit more to be safe. As I began thinking that I may need to slow even more, I felt the car begin to move. We were next to a pickup truck that was following a semi on the interstate. I felt the back of the car moving toward the truck. Instinctively, I jerked the wheel to the right (into the spin) we started to go the other direction. Now we were spinning to the right and for a moment we were perpendicular to the interstate and positioned between a semi and a pickup truck. I didn't care for the headlights pointed at my wife so we kept spinning (as if I had control). They were soon aimed at me as we slid down the road facing the car behind us. The next thing I saw was the guard rail approaching from the rear. This was actually a welcome sight because I remember seeing a steep drop-off on the shoulder and so catching the guard rail was a blessing. We finally stopped after 270 degrees of eternity and the other car managed to get around us without incident.

Nicki handled it very well. I don't recall her screaming or even raising her voice in fear. She just sort of let our a concerned...sound...? Thomas stayed asleep, and Anna-Kate awoke in the spin, but was more disturbed that all the commotion had resulted in her cup of fruit loops being spilled.

I pulled the car to a safe spot and got out to inspect. Remarkably, the only damage was a dent the size of my fist in the rear bumper cover. Nothing at all to speak of when you take in to account what happened. God was watching over us. I would like to credit my experience cutting donuts on frozen parking lots with seeing us through the ordeal, but I know it was God (do I hear Carrie Underwood singing?).

Seriously though, the weekend was rough. Nicki and the kids are still there and I took the Natchez Trace Parkway out of Franklin to get the long way home. It was a beautiful drive on a pleasant and sunny day which gave me plenty of time to think about some things.

1) I love God.

He has blessed us with so much and takes care of us so faithfully. Even in the midst of what we would call bad weather, His power and glory are seen.

2) I love America.

As I went along the NTP on the way home I saw some of the most beautiful countryside ever!! God has blessed us with rich nature so close to home. I couldn't resist rolling down the windows and blasting the U.S. Marine Corps. Bands rendition of Battle Hymn of the Republic. Makes me cry. I'm a nerd. Don't judge, it's better than Justin Bieber.

3) I'm a dad, and people rely on me.

I've always known that this came with the territory but going through severe thunderstorms, car accidents, flooding, seeing the devastation others were going through and still having to comfort my children through it all made my role as a father and husband more real. The decisions I was faced with over those few days weighed on me so greatly because I had to keep them safe.

When I said goodbye to my little girl Monday morning she looked at me and said "When you go home, don't spin." She was worried that I would have a wreck and she needed me to tell her it would be ok.

My dad was a great dad. He still is, but I see behind the curtain a bit now and understand that there is more to what he did than just being strong and fearless. He used to stand at the door during bad weather. It seems strange looking back but it comforted me to know that he was literally watching out for me. I caught myself doing it the other night almost out of instinct.

I asked him once why he was never afraid. He had asked his dad the same thing once and so he passed the response on to me.

"Being a dad doesn't mean you're not afraid, it means no one else needs to know when you are."

I know me. I get scared about things sometimes. I'm high-strung and not good at letting things just roll off. But somehow I handled the weekend pretty well. I didn't let it get to me, I didn't get scared, I didn't show my fear to those around me, I acted...like my dad.

I know that it was God leading me through all of that. I feel closer to Him now, closer to my father and grandfather too! In that sense, it turned out to be a great weekend.

p.s Please pray for all of the families that have lost homes, loved ones, and friends due to the flooding in Nashville and the surrounding area. Also continue to pray for Nicki's sister as she is still in early labor.